Proverbs
King James Version (KJV)

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Removal of dead and the now living Church of Jesus. Write down all the scriptures given so you can study it too.
Feelings are not Faith. Your feelings declare that God cannot forgive this.
Another thing you need to know: satan is the ACCUSER of the brethren. He will accuse and grind you into powder if you allow it. He's counting on you to walk away from God.
Paul met Jesus by hearing only the next day. He was confronted and blinded a few days after. His life was changed forever. He wrote much of the New Testament! Many have been born again through him.
Do as I had to do: give your child a name and know there will be a happy reunion in heaven someday. There will be no memory of the offense. Why? Because the blood of Jesus has been shed over that memory.
You must turn on Satan and cast him and his demons OUT of your memories. Fear (a demon) hath Torments (demons that torture). That's who your enemy is. You make it easy for them when you self-condemn. 'Torments' is plural so you may have to do it, more than once. Satan is cruel.
YOU are going to have to be like that cripple man Jesus healed: He said, RISE, pick up your bed and walk home!
There is NOW no condemnation to those that ARE IN Christ Jesus.
Every time you hear that condemning voice in your head: you are going to have to cast out those demons, In Jesus Christ of Nazareth, Name, to go into dry places, forever.
You must fill up your mind with the Bible. Stay in the Gospels and memorize what Jesus SAID to everyone who was healed.
Be diligent.
It's way in the future, but someday you will be strong enough to help someone else get free from condemning memories.
Since you feel guilt and remorse of your past sin that's a good thing. That means you genuinely regret it, but if you confessed this and repented to God already then God has already forgiven you. Hebrews 8:12. The only step remaining is you forgiving yourself and giving that burden to God. If you refuse to forgive yourself, then you might ask: what Jesus dying for you not enough? Galatians 2:21 It is for everyone else, so why not for you? He loves you that much to die for you and forgive your sin even when you mess up, even when you know better, can you accept that? Do you accept his gift?
>I feel it's unforgivable
Let's challenge this statement. This is an assumption, because you don't truly know that. It's also inconsistent with the Bible. The Bible says all sins are covered except for only one, blasphemy of the holy spirit, and that's not what you did. If your statement was true it would also be true for others too, but its not. There are countless others who have also gone through this and feel 100% forgiven. If its true for them how could a different standard apply for you?
The Bible already made its promises so if you don't believe the Bible that is another matter. You're forgiven, wiped away, and if you follow Christ you this sin is forgotten: Hebrews 8:12. It takes faith to believe the Words of God and to apply them. It clearly says you're forgiven. Believe and celebrate that and go and 'sin no more'. John 8:11
God bless you!
John 3. Psalm 51
If you will go back to the opening of this website there is a section to learn the steps to salvation. You'll see a prayer you can pray. It's very complete and you'll be born again; and you'll go to heaven when you die. The good news is that your child's soul went to heaven; and is waiting for you.
You can start by reading these few scriptures: And then to the salvation page.
Isaiah 1:18
Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.
1 Peter 2:24
Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.
1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Isaiah 1:18
Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.
1 Peter 2:24
Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.
1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 2:2
And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world.
John 20:23
Whose soever sins ye remit, they are remitted unto them; and whose soever sins ye retain, they are retained.