1 John
King James Version (KJV)

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The only way one can be perfect in love is by keeping or obeying God's commandment, reading the scripture, singing songs of praises to God, pleasing God with your daily services, and been prayerful always. A feeling of glad any time you do some good or pleasant, that is the presents of the spirit of God in a man.
Then, the spirit of God in you will automatically tell you, you don't have reason to fear any circumtances.
Everyone (including those who raised you) is a work in progress. I don't have all of the answers, but believe that God does not make mistakes. If God put you here, God needs you here. You will never know which lives you've touched. Perhaps that is where faith becomes important.
First, I would say that the woman wasn't right in giving it to everyone else contrary to what God has told her to give it to a man. She disobey the message of God to her. Secondly, it's true that God communicate with her because the instruction was GOOD and not evil. Anything GOOD is from God. The Lord still communicate with those people who has a pure heart and do righteousness. Just as how He talked to His chosen people through dreams in ancient times. But this is very rare now because too few now a days are righteous in the sight of God.
These verse 1 John 4:2 means that Jesus came from spirit to dwell with us here on earth who are in flesh. In fact, this scenario was made clear in John 1:14 that says the "Word" was "made flesh", and dwelt among us. Therefore, it simply means that Jesus was "not" in the form of flesh "before" he was made flesh. He came out "from" God as it was written in John 17:8. That's why in John 1:1 it says in the beginning "was" the Word and the Word "was" with God and the Word "was" God. And the day he was born here on earth, that's the time he came out of this world in the form of "flesh". That flesh whom we called Jesus Christ was declared by God as His beloved Son. It is also mentioned in 1 Corinthians 15:50 that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God; neither doth corruption inherit incorruption. Therefore the Word was in the form of spirit before He was made flesh and was born here on earth in the form of flesh who was known to us as Our Lord Jesus Christ.
The more of Him you get filled up with then the fear must leave.
You get filled up with Him by reading the christian Bible, fellowshipping with like-minded believers, singing songs to Him, talking with Him through out the day.
Fears will be replaced by Jesus (perfect love).
beloved this is enough to put devil and our challenges to where they belong